On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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