Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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