girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
