Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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