I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
