i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
