he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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