I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
