If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
