dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
