Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
