Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
where are my eyebrows?
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