I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
