areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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