i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
