What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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