I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
