Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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