I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
