hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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