a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize