Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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