when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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