Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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