Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
