I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
how does that bad decision feel?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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