woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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