He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
