WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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