Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
