I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
