those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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