I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
