I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
