You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dear god my vagina.
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