dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
