bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
