Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize