let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
