Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
