oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize