The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize