I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
