i permit you to call me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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