also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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