I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
