dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
