my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
