i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
