What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
