i was born a porn star she said
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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