We won't sleep together?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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