so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
