how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
