dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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