i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
