you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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