'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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