Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
