Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I will pee on everything he values.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
