How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
