dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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