If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We need to get me chipped asap
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
