My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
