I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
