I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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