We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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