I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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